Dancing with Shadows: On Alcohol, Clarity, and the Cost of a Night

By Jennifer Youngren, NDTR

A reflection on clarity, nourishment, and the choice to feel good tomorrow.

When the Morning Feels Like a Cost

This isn’t about being sober or not. It’s about honoring the body—its metabolism, skin, nervous system, and moods—and recognizing when alcohol supports connection versus when it compromises clarity.

You are no longer using alcohol to escape. You're choosing it consciously—with your health, beauty, and healing in mind.

If you’ve ever woken up feeling like your brilliance is just out of reach—like your body and mind are a few paces behind—you’re not alone. Sometimes it’s not regret, it’s the emotional static that follows what felt like a joyful evening. That’s the duality so many of us live with.

There’s a character in the show Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell—a woman enchanted by dark magic. Each night, she’s swept into a ballroom where she dances for hours, unable to stop, unable to speak of it. By day, she wakes depleted and dazed, a fraction of herself, trapped between two realities.

That image stayed with me. Because sometimes, that’s what a hangover feels like—like you've traded the clarity of your morning for a brief softness in the evening.

Not because I’m under a spell, but because drinking—especially when it isn’t anchored in nourishment—can steal what I value most: my presence, my creativity, and my clarity.

From Ancestral Wisdom to Clinical Nutrition: A Full-Circle Journey

Before I ever studied micronutrients or mapped out liver detox pathways, I knew that food could heal—because my grandmother taught me.

She kept an old book filled with folk cures and herbal remedies. It held generational knowledge—remedies her own mother and grandmother used, trusted foods and herbs for fever, bloating, nerves, or grief. Nothing was wasted. Everything had purpose.

That wisdom wasn’t trendy. It wasn’t labeled as “functional” or “holistic.”

It was simply life.

We still talk about these things today—exchanging advice, remembering which herbs help which ailments, sharing remedies across the kitchen table or over the phone. That thread never broke.

In my early twenties, I worked as a bartender—long nights, poor eating, drinking too much. I lived on corner store nachos, diner food, and whatever I could grab after a shift. I ended up with fatty liver disease, and I didn’t know how to fix it.

But I remembered what I was raised with: that the body wants to heal if we give it what it needs.

At the time, I was working at a small mom-and-pop video store. A lawyer who came in regularly knew I had a culinary background—I'd completed a two-year certification in culinary arts—and he saw my curiosity about nutrition. One day, he gave me a book on herbs and healing.

That book became a turning point. I started researching milk thistle, burdock, dandelion, alpha-lipoic acid, and foods that support liver repair. I changed how I nourished myself, slowly, intentionally. I reversed my fatty liver—not with perfection, but with consistency and care.

My lab results today reflect how the body responds to steady nourishment, herbal support, hydration, and yes—even scaling back on things like alcohol and caffeine when needed. Coffee isn’t just a beverage in my life—it’s a ritual, and one backed by real health benefits. When consumed black, it may support liver regeneration, protect against inflammation, and contribute to metabolic resilience.

But more than that, I understand now that the healing I offer to others through nutrition isn’t just based in science. It’s rooted in generational memory, personal experience, and deep respect for the body’s ability to regenerate.

The science gave me language.

But the wisdom? That came first.

Read more about coffee and its benefits here.

What Science Reveals

1. Glutathione Depletion and Oxidative Stress

Glutathione is the body’s master antioxidant and is critical for detoxifying harmful substances, including alcohol. When alcohol is metabolized, it depletes glutathione stores, weakening the liver’s defense against oxidative stress. Alpha-lipoic acid (ALA) helps regenerate glutathione and supports mitochondrial function, aiding the body’s resilience during occasional alcohol exposure.

2. Neurotransmitter Disruption

Alcohol initially boosts dopamine and GABA, giving a temporary sense of relaxation and reward. However, it later depletes serotonin and disrupts the normal cycling of neurotransmitters, leading to mood swings, brain fog, and increased anxiety in the days that follow.

3. Cortical Shrinkage and Cognitive Impact

Studies show that chronic alcohol use is associated with reductions in brain volume—particularly in the prefrontal cortex, which governs decision-making and emotional regulation. Women appear especially vulnerable, even with moderate drinking. The encouraging news is that brain volume often improves with reduced alcohol use or abstinence.

4. Fat Oxidation and Metabolic Disruption

Alcohol interrupts fat burning. The liver prioritizes clearing ethanol, which halts the metabolism of carbohydrates and fats. This leads to greater fat storage and blood sugar instability, which can increase cravings and inflammation for hours after drinking.

5. Gut Health and Inflammation

Alcohol increases intestinal permeability (or “leaky gut”), allowing endotoxins and inflammatory compounds to enter the bloodstream. This disrupts the gut microbiome, alters immune response, and affects digestion, skin clarity, and mental clarity.

How to Support Your Body—If You Choose to Drink

Before You Drink

• Alpha-lipoic acid (ALA) in the morning

• Eat a balanced meal with protein, fat, and fiber

• Hydrate with water plus trace minerals or a pinch of sea salt

  
  

While You Drink

• Choose dry red wine, tequila neat, or vodka with lime

• Avoid sugary mixers and heavy cocktails

• Pair each drink with a glass of water

  
  

After You Drink

• Take milk thistle, NAC, or ginger tea

• Support calm and detox with magnesium glycinate

• Sleep in a cool, dark room and allow for rest

  
  

Next Morning Reset

• Lemon water with sea salt

• Protein + color-rich breakfast (e.g., eggs, greens, berries)

• Light movement and sun exposure

  
  

A Final Note

This piece is not about perfection. It’s about understanding duality—how one choice can carry two truths.

There is a subtle cost to drinking that often hides behind its immediate comfort. It gives us connection, ease, and a softening of edges—but it can also take something from us quietly the next morning. Sometimes it’s the blurry mind, the lost creativity, or the delayed start to a day that could have been clear and open. I’ve experienced all of it. And I’ve also learned how to meet my body where it’s at—with tools, with reverence, and without shame.

You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to be sober. But you deserve to live in the kind of clarity that lets you access your full power. You deserve mornings that greet you with lightness and intention, not apology. You deserve the version of you who doesn’t need to recover from joy.

If this spoke to you—if you’ve ever felt that tug between presence and escape—know that you’re not alone.

This space isn’t about being perfect.

It’s about being honest with your body.

With your mornings.

With your rituals.

💌 I’d love to hear your story.

What does clarity mean to you right now? Drop a comment, send a message, or share this with someone who’s navigating the same duality.

Let’s keep making space for growth, grace, and choices that feel like home.

References

1. Skarfstad, E. et al. (2021). Alcohol and Glutathione: Friends or Foes? NCBI.

2. Lovinger, D. M. (1997). Alcohols and neurotransmitter interactions. Neurochemical Research.

3. Harper, C. et al. (2003). Cerebral white matter volume deficits in alcoholics. Archives of Neurology.

4. Siler, S. Q. et al. (1999). De novo lipogenesis, lipid kinetics, and whole-body lipid balances in humans after ethanol consumption. American Journal of Clinical Nutrition.

5. Leclercq, S. et al. (2014). Role of gut microbiota in alcohol-induced liver injury. World Journal of Gastroenterology

   
   
   
   

   Disclaimer

   The information provided in this article is intended for general education and personal reflection. It is not meant to diagnose, treat, or cure any medical condition. Always consult with a qualified healthcare provider before making changes to your diet, supplements, or alcohol use.